Lost
by jayeyes
Summary: It was a perfect summer day. The sky shining bright and blue, feathery clouds floating gently along, the sun beaming down on two souls lost in their own world, in a place that only they knew about.


It was a perfect summer day. The sky shining bright and blue, feathery clouds floating gently along, the sun beaming down on two souls lost in their own world, in a place that only they knew about.

It was one of their secret places, the field of tall grass softly swaying in the breeze, hidden from view beneath the road where they always met all those years ago, back when they were still little more than strangers. They lay side-by-side, almost—but not quite—touching. The grass prodded their backs, making it itch. Small white butterflies fluttered busily to and fro. The warm smell of summer enveloped them, cocooned them together. They lay basking in the sun and in each other.

Fears. They were talking about their fears. Physical fears, inconsequential fears, emotional fears, it was all leading up to the most important question of all. Like the calm before a storm, there was a lull in the conversation; both of them enjoying the leisurely journey of knowing each other. Not at all in a hurry because it was still early, they had the whole day and the whole place to themselves, and everything was perfect.

He turned and lifted his torso to lean on his elbow, gazing contentedly down at her. Here comes the question, the storm, the climax.

"What are you most afraid of?"

She blinked once, took a quick peek at him, glanced back up at the sky again, and didn't say anything for the longest time. He lay back down on the grass, not expecting her to answer. And it was okay, he didn't really want to force her.

But she did answer.

"People leaving." She said in a voice so soft, it was barely even a whisper. If the breeze hadn't carried her words to his ear , he wouldn't have known she had spoken.

And suddenly he couldn't move. The grass became unbearable, the sun oppressively hot, the summer air stifling. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, only to find out it was a knot of daggers that shot straight down to stab his heart with icy blades. He couldn't look at her. Felt unworthy to even be lying here, next to her. Because that was exactly what he was going to do. He was going to leave her. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after that, but soon. Because he knew that what they had, what they _were_ , was not supposed to happen. They were not supposed to _be_.

Her hand slowly inched closer, her pinky coming to rest beside his. It was only the barest of touches, but it sent a jolt of electricity through his body. And in that moment, it became apparent to him that, without a doubt, he had fallen. He had fallen hopelessly hard. He had fallen too fast and too far to even have the smallest chance of crawling back up and picking himself up again. And he resisted—with every fiber of his being—the temptation to just ask her to go with him, right now. To run away with him, anywhere she wanted. To live the rest of their lives in some remote island far, far away from their responsibilities. Because he knew that this was just _now_. Because he knew that as soon as he went back to Soul Society and saw everyone and everything that depended on him, he would falter. Because that's who he was. He had spent far too long being a captain, being a leader, being someone who could always be depended on, to know what it felt like to be free. He thought he had his priorities straightened out. He was always so sure of himself. He always knew what to do next. And suddenly this girl, this Kurosaki Karin, comes crashing into his life, mixing everything up. And for the first time in his life, Hitsugaya Toushiro didn't know what to do. He was confused, he was thrown off-course, and if he was going to be completely honest with himself, he was terrified.

He thought about her mother, gone too soon; her brother, off fighting his own battles; and everyone who promised her that they wouldn't leave, but did. And he didn't want to, but he couldn't help it; he turned his head and looked at her. Her eyes were closed. And with the sunlight illuminating her face just so, she looked incredibly beautiful; and so very sad.

It was a perfect summer day. The sky shining bright and blue, feathery clouds floating gently along, the sun beaming down on two souls lost in their own world, in a place that only they knew about. One soul struggling within himself, drowning in his thoughts and scrambling to make sense of his world that was so rapidly and rudely upended. Not wanting to hurt the person who he loved probably more than anything else in this world. And the other already hurting, already knowing that she will, once again, be left behind.

 **Author's Note: Wow that was sad… I made myself sad… Haha thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, followed, and favorite my first story Almost, I really didn't expect them and I am so grateful, especially to those who took the time to leave a review. Thank you so much guys! I'm not really sure about this story though, was it much too melodramatic? Honest reviews will be greatly appreciated! Thanks again everyone! Mwah!**


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